Saturday, April 25, 2009

Puff the Magic Dragon, lived by the sea... and Mornings, lunch and eveoutside my office


The sun is shining, breeze is warm, an the air smells like George Burns' Ass.

This is what I come across when I exit/enter my office building on a daily basis. I thought I'd write about this after I had some time to think about the issue, and cool down.

For those of you who are not from Ontario, you may not know that we have some pretty strict smoking laws in place to protect non-smokers from inadvertently inhaling second-hand smoke toxins while in public areas. In brief, the law forbids smoking within 9 meters of building entrances, and must not have an overhead shelter. All entrances must display a non-smoking sign.

In an effort to encourage smoking within designated smoking areas, the building management at my office, has created a patio-style smoking area with seating and wind shelter. Unfortunately, this area is not used as frequently as it should be.

Instead of using this designated smokers-section, you find that smokers more frequently use the sheltered entrance area as their preferred smoking area. The wonderful thing about this sheltered entrance area is that it holds smoke very well, leaving us smoke-sensitive workers to share in the splendour of second hand smoke. I frequently find myself fighting off headaches due to second-hand smoke. I have an allergy to smoke, and asthma that are both aggravated each time I enter and exit the office.

The office management has taken steps to try and deter smokers who choose to smoke in law-prohibited areas. The office has sent out emails, and has asked office patrons to move to the designated smoking area Unfortunately, the smokers ignore these requests and continue to infringe on the health and happiness of their fellow coworkers by smoking within 5 feet of the entrance.

I have asked coworkers in the past to head to the smoking section instead of smoking within the confined of the pre-designated smoke-free areas. Although my coworkers oblige when I ask, they retun to the designated smoke-free areas for their next nic-fix.

Normally, my reaction to resolving issue that affect me would be to request action from the parties involved (which I've already done), and if results are not achieved, I'd escalate the issue to the local authority, and finally to the legal authority. Unfortunately, I don't feel the local authority nor the legal authorities will action my request.

In the past, I've made complaints to the local smoking authorities for smoking infractions that adversely affected me. To my dismay, the local authorities felt that although the rules were being broken, they weren't being broken "that bad" so the were left with a warning.

I would compare smoking in non-smoking areas to bringing peanut butter to an elementary school. The happiness of the individual is trumped by the health of another. The problem is that people really aren't taking the negative affects of smoking seriously. There are coalitions to save smoking and right to choose parties looking to keep smoking in public areas. You don't see coalitions for peanuts in schools, or free the peanut campaigns. The affects are the same, but not as immediate. Why are we so blind to ignore these facts?

My hope now is that someone reads this and understands that these smoking laws are not meant to inconvenience smokers for the sake of inconvenience, but rather are meant to protect the smoke sensitive individuals like myself.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Jose Calderon part of the nba History, and nobody knows.


When you think of amazing, Jose Calderon of the Toronto Raptors doesn't come to mind. Talented...maybe? But one thinkg to note about the Spanish Rap, is that he is among a league of elite players.

I was listening to Sports radio and was amazed to hear that Calderon has quietly become a member of the 50-40-90 club. Last year, he was in contention but didn't meet the minimum requirement for shots.

What is this 50-40-90 club, and how can I be a member?

The requirements are simple. Throw 50% accuracy or better from the field, 40% or better from 3pt range, and 90% or better from the line. There is a minimum requirement of shots in each, but I couldn't find the number.

The other 5 members of this elite club are Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Steve Nash, and Dirk Nowitzki.

I'm surprised that this hasn't been made very public or celebrated. Neither the Raptors nor NBA have announced the feat.

The only place I read about it was in a Spanish newspaper. Link Here: http://www.laopinioncoruna.es/secciones/noticia.jsp?pRef=2009041500_12_277529__Deportes-Calderon-tirador-infalible

In addition to all this, Calderon holds the record for most accurate free throws all-time with 98.1% making 151 of 154.

Pretty Amazing that a team that can't fill all the seats around the court isn't promoting its players the way it should be. Clearly, another blunder by MLSE.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Bathroom Hijacked by a Toilet Jockey


Maybe it's me, but I can't stand having Bathroom attendants in Club/Bars. The other night, I went to Failte Irish pub in Mississauga, only to find that as I relieved myself in their facilities, I was being watched by a panhandler with soap.

Yes, I was the victim of a bathroom hijacking.

I don't feel the need to pay someone for services I can render on my own. I do not need someone dispensing soap or a towel for me, when I'm perfectly capable of doing so on my own. Failte Irish pub featured a toilet jockey who not only blocked the entrance of a tiny bathroom, but also removed the paper towel from the paper towel dispenser, leaving those of us who like to wash and DRY our own hands, paying for these normally free services. What'smore, the Bathroom at Failte was pretty filthy. The Bathroom attendant paid no attention to the scraps of paper discarded on the floor, nor was he concerned with the urine pool that led from the stall to the frond door. As small as the Failte Men's bathrrom is, the addition of a working body that does nothing but panhandle and take up space is absolutely foolish.

There seems to be no real need for bathroom attendants in Bars & Clubs, except to find other ways of gouging patrons. I don't feel the need to pray on their selection of designer imposter colognes, nor do I need to use deodorant that a stranger has applied before me. I feel that if I'm going to have someone watch me use the urinal, he should be paying me for his perverted pleasure.

I know I've spoken about this topic before, but really, something has to be said for these "Services" and the right of refusal in bars and clubs.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Shamwow - Now even better at picking up hooker blood!

So, let's say you're out on Tijuana with some guys, and after consuming copious amounts of booze, you find yourself with a lady of the evening. Now, let's say this ball-jockey you picked up starts to get a bit ornery and had to go a bit Charles Bronson on her to knock he down a peg or two. On the surface, a good old fashion Mexican hooker-beating may sound like a good idea, but what to do with all the hooker blood that comes as a result of this Bronsonesque peg knocking??? Well, keep up with me here camera-man, because I can only do this once!

Oh yeah, You heard it here first! Shamwow, now available in Mexico. Check out the video below to see the ad in all it's hilarity.



In other Shamwow News.... Have you herd tat Vince, the Shamwow guy has been charg with assaulting a hooker? Oh yeah. As it turns out, the hooker bit Vince's tongue, so he laid down a hooker beating of his own.

Details Here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Shamwow Vince in an even finer form http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0408091sham1.html

Vince's Handy Work: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html

Friday, March 27, 2009

Another setback for the Toilet Chef of the Midwest

If you've ever tried to cook something on the toilet, let me tell you it takes a lot of skill and preparation. Not that I know from experience, or anything, it's just that a friend of a friend tried it once and I'll have to admit it sounded like a pretty mean kebab.

Joking aside, how desperate must you be if you have to cook your meals in a toilet? Well, a Washington prison inmate was that desperate. AP news story here. My next question would have to be "why is the washington prison selling uncooked meat to inmates who have no way of cooking it"? That's comparable to selling hard candy at a denture convention, or contraceptives to mormons.

Unfortunately, the AP did not get a photo or a name of this inmate. I however did some investigative research and found the crappy culinary online. Hit the link for a photo.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Are they that dumb, or is it a language thing?


Have you ever heard of these direct-from-china websites that cater to English speaking parts of the world? They're usually a good source for rare electronics finds and a bit of "engrish" humor, but in some rare cases, it's a source of complete frustration.

My last interaction with one of these china-direct websites comes with an ongoing story. On Jan 4 2009, I purchased a Playstation 3 controller to accompany the super-awesome PS3 I got for christmas. I was too cheap to go out to EB games and shell out $56 for a genuine Sony Playstation controller. I thought I'd save some money and use some of the balance I had in my paypal account. My purchase came to $31. This particular PS3 controller was a steal considering it featured Bluetooth, which allows me to wirelessly controll my Ps3 system.


Unfortunately, when I received the controller, I found that it does not feature Bluetooth connectivity. The product listing was incorrect. The controller came with a Dongle I had to plug in to the PS#. The problem with the dongle is that it blinks red every second. The dongle and the blinking are pretty distracting.

I decided to contact the customer service department to see if I could get a replacement controller; a controller that featured Bluetooth.

Here's how my conversation went. Please understand that I've been dealing with this company for almost 3 months on this issue. I'll be paraphrasing below because they've been deleting my on-line messages in shame.

Me - Hello, the controller you sent me does not function as described. It looks exactly the same as the one you have in the description, except it does not feature Bluetooth, nor does it come with a USB cable.

Liu - I'm sorry to hear sir, please send us a photo.

Me - Do I really need to send you a photo? It's the exact same thing you have on your site. The packaging is the same and everything. It's just that your product description is incorrect.

Sammy - I'm sorry to hear you're having problems with your purchase, please send us a photo.

Me - your site doesn't allow me to pate links to the photos. Do you have an email address I can send to

Michelle - Sorry, our site doesn't work right now. Please send us an email.

[I send them a photo of the item]

Me - I sent you a photo. Did you get it?

Mike - no, please send again.

[I send through another photo of the item]

Me - Did you get the email? I haven't gotten a response in a while

[It's moon festiva, the country shuts down for a few days]

Michelle - Sorry, we have been on vacation for days. We got your photo thanks

Me - Ok, what should I do now? I would really like a controller that has Bluetooth. Evidently, your description is incoorect, and this one does not have Bluetooth.

Michelle - I'm sorry to hear you're having problems with your product. Please send it to Hong Kong. Address Attached. We will send you a new controller that features Bluetooth.

[I send this thing over and it costs me $10. This means I've paid $41 for this controller now]

Me - Hi, I checked the tracking and it appears that you got the return a week and a half ago. When can I expect my replacement bluetooth controller?

Lilly - Hello, yes we did receive it a week ago. We will be sending you out a new controller for the asap

[I finally get this thing on March 18. That's a month after they said it would be sent on the asap. I guess asap means something different in engrish]

Me - Hello, I received the replacement controller, but it's the same one I was sent originally. Please re-read the chain of messages again.

This webpage item description is incorrect. Item #GCO21B does not feature Bluetooth. The item you sent me is the one listed on your site, except your site incorectly lists Bluetooth as one of the product features. I want a controller that features Bluetooth.

Zoe - We are so sorry to hear that. But could you please send us photos of the parcel including products? You can use URL or just send it to info@focalprice.com. Please let us know after you send it. We will deal with it as soon as we receive it.

Me - Do you really need a photo again? This is the exact same product that you have on your site. My issue has to do with an incorrect Description.

Zoe - We are so sorry to hear that. But could you please send us photos of the parcel including products? You can use URL or just send it to info@focalprice.com. Please let us know after you send it. We will deal with it as soon as we receive it.

[I send them a photo again]

Michelle - Hello, would you accept a $3USD discount?

Me - I would not accept a $3USD discount as it cost me $10 USD to return the controller. What I would accept is a replacement controller that actually had Bluetooth.

Lily - Dear Stephen,
We feel sorry for any inconvenience.
Would you mind paying $3.5 for resending a new one.
and you would send it back, dur to the expensive shiping fee.
please advise you opinion.
Thanks for your patience and support.


Me - Hi Lily, I dno't understand what you mean. Would you like me to return the product I currently have, and pay $3.50 USD for a new controller that has bluetooth?

Cherry - We mean that you pay $3.5 and we send you a new again. As for the wrong item, you can hold it. If you agree, please send payment to focalprice@gmail.com. Please let us know after your payment. We will arrange new shipment of the exact same item to you again.

Me - Will the new GS021B have Bluetooth? The last twe I received do not have Bluetooth. Remember, the issue is that this product has an incorrect description on your site.

Michelle - The item is as the description. It has bluetooth.

[Now, I'm trying to decide. Is english the barrier, or are they trying to confuse me enough that I'll just leave them alone. Unfortunately, I'm like a Barak Obama Joke about handicapped people - I just won't go away]

Me - The problem is that the item does not have bluetooth. The description is wrong. The item is wireless, but does not have bluetooth.

Michelle - I am afraid there is something wrong with the purchasing department. Would you like to accept it with some discount ?

Me - Hello, I do not want a discount. If possible, I'd like a controller that actually features Bluetooth. Is that possible? You once sold a Genuine Sony controller with Bluetooth on your site.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Think Mac computers are hacker-proof? Think again!

I came across this article the other day and thought I'd pass it along. I always get challenged when I say that Apple computers and PC computers are pretty much the same, with some minor differences. To over-simplify it, I'd compare it to Starbucks vs. Tim Hortons; no matter how you slice it, they both serve coffee.

One of the Biggest Mac misconceptions is that they don't get viruses, and can't be hacked. The truth is that since Mac computers hold such a small market share, the hackers & virus creators tend not to pay attention to them. They'd rather target the larger market in hopes of finding someone who is vulnerable. For those of you that don't believe me, check out this article in which an Apple computer is hacked in less than 10 seconds.

The moral of this story is as follows:

A - Don't believe everything you see on TV. Those Mac vs. PC ads almost totally banned in the UK for good reason (They have more stringent advertising laws than we do. Here, we can bend the rules a bit, in the UK, you have to tell it as it is). Click the Link to check out the Ad that claims that Mac Don't get viruses.

B -NEVER have unprotected sex with strangers! Even if she says she's only been with a few guys, and there's no way you'd get a virus, and there's no possibility of your dick getting hacked by a stranger, wear a condom.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My Car Turned 100,000Kms today


Yup, The car I purchased 3 years and 9 months ago turned 100,000Kms the other day. It was quite a momentous occasion. Marcy D'Arcy is purring like a kitten, and not those kittens who moan all night long, keeping you up, only after head butting the bedroom door open ;)

It got me thinking about the current plight of North American auto makers and a recent discussion I heard on talk radio. Yeah, I listen to talk radio in the mornings because I can't stand Dean Blundel; he's about as funny as a clown funeral, but that's another story for another day.

The argument came about after the president of Ford Canada proposed a $3,500 rebate for buyers of new Ford, Chrysler, and GM cars, if they junk their 10+ year old cars. I thought this was a pretty good idea considering the fact that Cars have become Greener, with a decrease in emissions of up to 50%. Mix the environmental factors with the stimulus the rebate would provide, and it appears to be a pretty good idea. The problem is that during the entirety of the discussion, only pro-old car and anti-domestic voices called in. Arguments ranged from people who want to keep their car for as long as possible, to use it as a measure of their own reliability no matter how much the car costs in monthly repairs, to callers who thought that domestic cars were pieces of junk. One caller even went so far as to misquote statistics from a CNN report, stating that 80% of domestic cars are not produced in North America (The actual story summary is that not all import cars are made outside North America, and not all North American cars are built in the United States).

Whatever the case, I want people to know that not all North American cars are crap. I just rolled over the 100,000KM mark on my mustang, and am proud to say my last mustang lasted 15 years and 389,000Kms. I bet there's plenty of people out there with domestic car success and pain stories. My issue is that people rely on ignorance and biased opinions when making car purchases. When looking to buy a car, do yourself a favor, and do some research. Check out Consumer Reports, ask current vehicle owners if they're happy with their car. Don't just rely on propaganda and slick marketing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to only buy North American, my point is to simply educate yourself before you buy, and hopefully, educate yourself before you open your mouth on national radio.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Belarussians and the Bride?

If you follow the NHL, and more specifically, the Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs, you're sure to have heard about the rift between the Kostitsyn Borthers and Mikael Grabovski. Basically, each party is accusing the other of bitch talking in the Belarusian press. Since all three speak Belorussian, and 99.95% of the world doesn't speak it, or read it, and doesn't care to learn; nobody can read the articles, an know why they're all pissy. I however have a theory in light of recent events.

La Presse has recently uncovered that three Montreal Canadiens players, including the Kostitsyn brothers have been associated with a known criminal. This criminal is on tape having worked with the brothers in getting them booze, cars, in to clubs and paid for women. Article Here.

I think it boils down to this. The Kostitsyn brothers were upset at the quality of prostitute that their criminal friend had acquired for them the night previous, so they took it out on Grabovski. I can only assume that the two Kostitsyn brothers are looking for a kind of pro you can only find in a former-soviet colony, only a few hundred kilometers from Chernobyl. In other words, they're looking for loose teeth, and tight beards on their women. Grabovski, who also years for the gruff, chapped hand of a Belarusian lover, outed his Belarusian countrymen in the local papers, citing that they had lowered their standards and pay for the services of the svelte and moustache-free Montreal women of the night.

As you can see, this would cause quite the rift between the two parties.

I'm sure that in time these three Belarusian hockey "sensations" can set their differences aside with the assistance of some Prince Igor vodka, and an evening at a Brampton brothel*. In the meantime, I hope to never again see a "Wanted" poster with Grabovski's face on it, or hear a word about the Belarusian midget-crisis.

Seacrest - out!


*It's a well known fact that Brampton brothels house only the dirtiest and mangiest of all pay-for-pleasure women in Canada.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Blowed up real good!


So, you might have read, or heard that Ottawa Senators owner (and unfortunately, owner of the Mississauga St. Michael's Majors hockey club) had some choice words for proponents of a Ottawa Senators rebuild. An article on his opinion can be found here (But don't read it yet). What I thought was particularly funny was one of his quotes:

"Anybody that says we should blow up this organization should get their own bomb and go blow themselves up, OK?"
Eugene's above quote reminded me of a sketch that use to run on SCTV, the Farm Film Report, where the Hosts (Candy and Flaherty) would ask their guests to get "Blow'd up Real Good!"

I think Eugene really misses SCTV, and wants to re-live those glory days by having his fan-base Blow them selves up Real Good!

Maybe it's just me, but telling your fans to blow yourselves up doesn't seem like a very wise PR choice. I also wonder why more people aren't spewing hate for him, as they are for Don Cherry, the CBC, and Mike Milbury. While Cherry and Milbury are under scrutiny for making up the word "Pansification", Eugene can tell people to blow themselves up, and remain unscrutinized.

I'm amazed at what seems to leave people unphased, while other things cause riots and hate.

On that note:

"May the Good Lord take a likin' to ya' and blow ya' up real soon!"

Monday, January 19, 2009

Mr. Lube.... You up before they throw sand in your ass

This weekend ushered in the first oil change of 2009. Hooray for Marcy Darcy (That's my car's name).

I pulled in to Meineke (home of the $20 oil change) half an hour after they opened on Saturday, only to find they were booked up for the entire day. I found this odd, as every time I've ever tried to book an oil change with them, they stated that this location's policy was to never take appointments. it's first come, first serve. Since I was at the store early on Saturday, I thought I'd challenge the clerk to see if he'd take me in right away or allow me to make an appointment for earlier in the day. Here's how the conversation ran:

Stephen - Hi, I'm here to get an oil change.
Clerk - Sorry, we're booked for the day
S - You guys just opened. How can you be booked? I was told that you can't book an appointment here
C - Yes
S - Ok, so can I get my car serviced today?
C - Sorry, we're booked up for the day. Come back later.
S - Can I make an appointment for some time?
C - No, sorry, we don't take appointments.
S - So, how can you be booked for the day, if you don't take appointments?
C - Maybe come back later
S - When should I come back? you guys don't take appointments.
C - Do you want something for the weekend or the week?
S - Are we making an appointment?
C - No, we don't make appointments
S - So, why does it matter if I tell you when I'm coming in next?
C - Maybe make an appointment for sometime in the week

I decided that talking to this guy was like the snake that ate its tail- We're just going to go in circles. I left and decided to head to Mr. Lube. Sure, it's a little more, but the quality of service would be better.

I arrived at Mr. Lube to get the business done on my car. I was quickly ushered in Just in time too, as as soon as I pulled in a line of 3 cars formed behind me and the next bay. While the Lubers were disposing of the old oil and replenishing the car, I was approached by "The Hard Sell Man. Clearly, this guys job wasn't to put oil in the car as his hands were clean. He approached me with my old cabin air filter in hand, and asked me if I'd like it replaced. Normally, I replace my own cabin air filter, as it costs $20 from the store, and takes 5 minutes to complete; recently however, I haven't been able to find my model air filter in stock at any automotive store. I Asked Mr. Hard sell how much a replacement filter would be. He responded by saying, it was really cheap, so I said it would be fine for him to replace the filter, but to let me know the price before proceeding. He then said that my transmission fluid was dirty, and needed to be flushed. I told him I wasn't interested, as I could get my mechanic to do this for me. He continued to tell me that my car is in danger of failing due to the amount of shavings in my automatic transmission, and that the fluid needs to be changed regularly. Right then, I knew this guy was just full of crap. My car is a manual transmission. I told him I wasn't interested in anymore of his services. After an additional 2 minute lecture on transmission care, he finally left, only to return with the price of my cabin air filter. Hard Sell presented me with my old cabin filter and the new filter, and stated that the replacement and installation would be $100. Now, unless the mechanics are going to take the lady in the van next to me and perform a sex act on my hood while replacing the filter, there's no way I'm paying $100 to replace a $20 part. I stopped he guy and told him I wasn't interested as I normally change this part myself. Again, after a 2 minute lecture on the dangers of pollen creeping into my car through the vent, he sadly walked away, not making a single sale to me that day.

Revenge from the Lube people was swift. The oil change price jumped form $35 to $45 plus disposal and extra oil fees. My oil change came to $52. Almost double what I normally get charged at Meineke, and only $5 less than Ford's oil change.

The Lube Gods had defeated me that day. They were upset at the exchange I had with the Meineke people and felt that a Barrage of Mr. Lube Services and charges would weaken my will. in another 5,000 Kms, I will make my return to Meineke and hope to be in the good graces of the Lube gods.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Alexander Semin should stick to bitch talk

So, if the NHL was the Justice League of America, and the Washington Capitals were the equivalent of Gotham, Alex Ovechkin would be Batman and Alexander Semin would be Robin. Semin would be the sidekick to a super Hero. Almost like the Mexican guy in employee of the month the the weird nostril-blond guy. What I'm trying to say is that Semin is a Sidekick.

That being said, Semin, as a sidekick shouldn't be calling out other SuperHeroes of the NHL. A couple of months ago, Semin decided to put down Crosby Article Here. Soon after Semin bich talked Sidney Crosby, Sid the Kid decided to do some trash talking of his own.... On the Scoreboard. Crosby went on a tear to eventually lead the league in Points (Crosby now sits in 3rd place, while Semin sits in 44th).

Now here's where the story get juicy. A few days ago, Sid decided he'd throw the fisticuffs and didn't look too bad if you ignore the fact that his opponent didn't even see it coming. Video evidence Here.

Semin, not wanting to be out done decided he'd thro some fisticuffs. Unfortunately, he forgot that he doesn't know how to fight and punches like a baby reaching for a baba. Video evidence here.

The moral of this story is that if you're a suck ass sidekick, you Better keep your mouth shut and do the joib you're paid to do. Anything above that will make you stink like an underwater fart bubble.

PS> Doesn't Alexander Semin sound like "I Like Sandier Semen?" Really, WHo likes Sandy Semen?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

We're just Normal Aryans, trying to live a Culture-free Existence



So, I came across this Gem of a news article. It appears that a Loving family of New Jersey Nazis are just looking for a fair shake in life.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081217/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hitler_cake

Who are these people, and why are they trying to play the Sympathy card here. So, the family was denied the services of Nazi cake decorating, and are looking for support. If it were me, I'd decoare their cake with some man-goo and fill it with a steaming pile of goat shit.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween from China! You may already be eating Malamine

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm a bit of a stickler for my health, but why aren't more people concerned with the fact that Malamine could have been added to any number of Chinese products. IT was recently found that Malamine was added to livestock feed to augment the appearance of protein in feed. Am I one of the few who believe this is a bigger deal than Tin Fey's impersonation of Sarah Palin?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7701477.stm

I'm not saying that we should ban all products coming in from China, but we really should put more stock in inspecting the items we do import from China. Over the past couple of years, we've uncovered tainted pet treats, lead based pain in toys, lead found in "lead-free" jewellery, malamine in our food, and now maline found in our food's food. All these issues have stemmed from one country. When Canada was found to have had a cow infected with mad cow disease, countless countries banned our meat.

As I said, I think banning all items from china would be a knee jerk reaction, but someone needs to step in to ensure that the products we're importing into canada follow the same safetly and health regulations we're accustom to here.

Other interesting reads:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/385187_toys28.html

http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v5/newsindex.php?id=368429

Wal Mart Might be doing something about it:
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jP0C1Aoi0pUm3LIAfqDoB4Dpi8BwD93VJTQ00


When in trouble, start pointing fingers:
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2008/10/31/China_says_chemicals_in_Japanese_food/UPI-24411225431498/

Monday, September 29, 2008

In Malta

I thought I'd update my friends on my current exciting Adventure! I am off for a few weeks in Malta, then for a couple of days in Paris!

Flying is always a bit of a challenge for me, as I tend to suffer from motion sickness. To treat my motion sickness, I take 2 Gravol tablets. Unfortunately, Gravol tends to knock me out. Mix that with the adjusted cabin pressure and I'm out like a light. Even when I take the non-drowsy version, I still go lights-out for the next few hours. Any attempt at staying awake only causes me to go into a deep trance-like sleep early on in the evening.

My Saturday flight was no different from the rest. I took my Gravol pills an hour before my flight as I usually do, and got ready to board the plane. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the clerk at the check-in counter gave me a window seat in the exit aisle. The extra leg room afforded for passengers in the exit aisle is a special treat for me. The Gravol tends to give me the jimmy legs, and I frequently deboard the train with bruised shins, caused by mt spastic leg movements as I sleep. Another pleasant surprise was the nice french couple sitting beside me. They reminded me of skinny versions of Danny DeVito and Reah Pearlman, if only Reah Pearlman had a horrible bout of halitosis. Aside from the issue that Reah would frequently talk in my direction, spewing halitosis gas in my vicinity and in turn waking me from my flight slumber, it wasn't too bad. Although this flight to Europe was longer than I was use to, it wasn't too bad. I was probably awake for a total of 2.5 hours. 1.5 hours to watch Indiana Jones, 0.5 hours to eat my meal, and 10 x 3 minute mini wake ups due to the yellow fog emanating from my row-mate.

From that point on, the transit between France and Malta was uneventful, which from a guy who frequently profiled when travelling, is quite pleasant. In past travelling adventures, I've been asked to strip to my underwear, asked to go through the explosives detection machine twice in one security check, had my car taken apart twice and have been pulled aside by security and searched while waiting for my plane to arrive in the post-security section of an airport. All in all, having an uneventful transit to Malta is good news for me.

Today, I'm going to head down to the beach and relax

Friday, September 26, 2008

Schools aren't held accountable

You may have read, or watched on the news that a London boy was punched in the head by another student. As recounted by the victim's parents, the School didn't take the head-injury seriously. The battered student was asked to sit for 30 minutes before being examined by the principle. Even as the child asked to go hom, he was made to sit and wait for the principal.

Story here: London Free Press

It turned out that the victim had a fractured skull and brain damage as a result of the incident.

This issue resonates with me, as I too had a head-trauma issue when I was in elementary school, and neither the teacher nor the principal took my issue seriously enough to call an ambulance.

My story begins with a 6 year old Stephen walking across the monkey bars in the school playground. I thought it would be fun if I were to climb up top of the monkey bars and walk across them instead of hanging from them like a normal monkey child. As the recess bell rang, I started my decent from the bars, in anticipation of the post-recess class room line-up and head-count. Unfortunately, I was jarred on my way down the monkey bars, striking my forehead on one bar and the rear of my head on the other. As I fell to the ground, unconscious. I don't know how long I was outside, but I do recall a couple of classmates, lifting me up to carry me to class. Upon my arrival, my Grade 1 teacher promptly yelled at me for missing the recess bell. I was made to sit on the carpet away from my friends. My teacher, Ms. Divincenzo didn't bother to ask me where I was after the recess bell. She just assumed that I was tardy because I as playing. The funny thing is that my class at the time had a direct window to the playground. Had she looked out the window, she would have seen my laying in the sand. Instead, she yelled at me an assumed that I was just being a bad kid. As I sat on the carpet, and made to feel guilty for injuring myself, I began to experience some discomfort, that soon resulted in projectile vomit being spewed on to the Brown, Yellow and Orange shag carpet. From that point on, I don't remembe much. I only recall my parents being arriving at the school office and my father yelling at Mr.Brian, the principal at the time. My father was quite upset. He must have travelled from Downtown toronto Station A (Now the Air Canda Centre) to come collect me, a drivethat would normally take at least 30 minutes.

Luckily, in the end, I was merely concussed and without serious harm. My issue with all this is that any issue that involves a developing child's brain sholuld be take extremely seriously. The longer you wait, the more damadge could be done. My story could have turned out worse. If I had severe brain traume, and were to wait over 30 minutes before being taken to the hospital, the end result could have been far more grim.

My ask is that people responsible for our children should take these typs of injuries far more seriously.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Under Armour - The official clothing of Vigilante Drug Ninjas Everywhere!




If you haven't heard, a couple of NJ Ninjas were arrested last night.

Story Here: http://www.northjersey.com/news/Cops_nab_Ninga_vigilantes_.html

If you notice in the photo, both Ninjas are wearing Black, Skin-tight Shirts. One Vigilante -Super Hero Ninja was wearing an Under Armour crested shirt, while the other is obviously wearing an Under Armour jock, as that could be the only reason for the expression on his face.

If I were ever asked to define the word BADASS, I believe all I'd have to do is pull the photo of these two ninjas out and say "BADASS enough for ya, Chuck Norris?"

The thing that amuses me the most is that they dropped a letter off to the guy's Ex-Girlfriend. Really, these guys seemed as hardcore as a roll of toilet paper. The first letter they drop off is a hate letter with a request to stop taking drugs mixed in. ''

I once dropped off a letter to an Ex Girlfriend, it read "Hey, I thought we were going to Bone tonight. You Suck. Have a good life with the Balding Guy. --Ninja Steve"

Monday, June 16, 2008

Honk if you're Horny!

Yeah, so Every couple of years, those of us in Streetsville are serenaded by the sounds of import car horns. Oh, the beautiful sounds of high-toned horns honking endlessly through the streets is like music to my ears. The two nations that show the most horn honking aptitude are Portugal and Croatia.

I would like to take some time to thank said decedents for keeping me abreast of the Euro Cup tournament results. Normally, I wouldn't follow the Euro Cup, but my Croatian and Portuguese friends keep me abreast of their wins through honking parades and public drunkenness.

The Police on the other hand are ding an exceptional job in handling the noise pollution. Throughout the night, as the fanfare continues, and the horn honking cuts through the silence, the Police quell the honking by blaring their siren over top of the honking. If you can't imagine the audio battle between horns and sirens, I don't wish that upon you. If the Police were at all concerned, they'd give out tickets. I can see them giving out warnings until midnight, but as soon as the Horns go past 3:00am, the tickets should be out. Hell, I've been given a ticket for parking in a no-parking zone one minute after the pre-determined parking times. If I was honking my horn 4 hours after the pre-designated quiet time, I'd be surprised if I didn't get a ticket.

Tonight, the battle of the Horns continues. Croatia won a Game that brings them to the Quarter finals, while the Portugese fans are honking to assert their Honk Dominance.

I can only wish that both countries are bumped out of the tournament sooner than later. I'm sure the fans won't smarten up and realize that hinking in a residental zone isn't a cool thing to do.

R Kelly is a Free Pedophile


So, you May or May have not heard that R. Kelly has gotten off on his most recent Pedophilia charges.

If You didn't Know, Her's the Rundown. He was videotaped with a 13 year old girl. When caught his defense changed from "It Wasn't Me" to "I was me, but she was of age" to "It Wasn't me, it was my brother" finally to "It wasn't me, it was an elaborate set-up with a Look alike, body double (including mole on my back), an exact duplicate of my room, and someone had to have hidden the tapes in my house"

Unfortunately, the parents of the minor dropped the charges and settled out of court before the hearing was judged in court.

Recently, R. Kelly was brought up on even more exploitation of a youth charges. To bring you up to speed. R. Kelly Married Aaliyah when she was 15, only after dating her for a few years. A few years ago Aaliyah perished in an airplane accident. More recently, R. Kelly was brought up on charges. The evidence against him was : Photographs, Multiple video tapes and victim testimony.

Across a few weeks, the district attorney sweet talked the jury with evidence, factual photographs and victim testimony. The defense opted to take the high road and disputed the evidence by stating the possibility that all the evidence was tampered with and was fabricated. The District Attorney's office submitted victim testimonials and proved out that R. Kelly brought photos/video footage with him in a knapsack to various parties to show off his exploits. Although the DA managed to produce Multiple victim and witness testimonies, the Jury wasn't convinced.

The Jury felt that although the victims were probably underage, there was no way of proving out the dates of the films/photographs. Seeing as how witnesses testified to the dates of the videos, the Jury overlooked that evidenced and felt that R. Kelly should be a free man.

Now, I'm pretty repulsed by this. Who in their right mind would let R. Kelly free? Maybe they needed more concrete evidence? You know what might have helped? Maybe they needed video? Nah, How about Witness testimony? Nah, Maybe photographs with his Grammy awards in them? Either way, it proves that Celebrities live by different rules and the grand public lets them.

I'm horrified

Monday, June 02, 2008

Goodbye Monkey Boy

My Dog passed away this morning. 4:00am. I knew this day would come sooner or later, but it was still a shock. In November, he would have turned 12 years old (people years, because really, what the hell are dog years anyways?). I couldn’t have asked for a better dog while growing up. He was attentive, intelligent and affectionate, not to mention a great protector.

We came upon Taylor accidentally. Growing up, my parents didn’t want a dog. Reasonably, they felt that having a dog would limit our vacation choices, and would be a lot of work to keep. Most people don’t want to look after your dog as you go on a month-long trip through Europe. We vicariously owned dogs through our grandparents (Killer) and Neighbour (Smokey). We even bough a couple of Guinea Pigs to keep as pets (Chip + Thumper lead to Gizmo and Dale). At the age of 18, I started looking to buy fish to fill an aquarium left in the basement by my sister. I soon realized that fish sucked and I’d be elbow deep in Fish poop, weekly, as I cleaned the aquarium. My interests turned to Geckos. I searched a few pet shops but couldn’t find any Gecko I liked. I soon realized that I didn’t want a fish or a Gecko. I wanted a dog. My Dad clued in on it sooner than I had. While at PetSmart, searching for a Geko, my dad turned to me and said “You don’t want a lizard do you.” I confessed that I wanted a dog, and terminated the Gecko hunt. As it just so happened, one of my dad’s co-workers had a litter of Black Lab/Shepherd puppies. We all approached my mom and told her we were ready to buy a dog. She too was willing to get a dog now that we were all older. Mom had only one stipulation. The stipulation being that we had to get a small to medium sized dog. She didn’t want an overwhelming dog in the house. Big dogs also tend to shed a lot more. Seeing as Lab/Shep puppies will grow to be a fairly large sized dog, the litter was left out of the selection process. As a family, we decided that the dog we get has to be unanimously approved by the family, and that we were to adopt a dog from a shelter. My dad did most of the leg work, visiting shelters on his lunch breaks, and taking us over when he found one that he thought we’d all like. Unfortunately, this process was long and drawn out. We couldn’t all agree on a dog we liked. As our search continued, the litter of Lab/Shep puppies, up for adoption by my dad’s co-worker were being scooped up. By mid-December, the Lab/Shep puppies had all been spoken for, and our search for a new dog was fruitless. Things weren’t looking good on the adoption-front until my dad found out one of the Lab/Shep puppies was back up for adoption. The original owner had to back out. Seeing his opening for adoption, my dad put together a plan that would us our very own Lab/Shep puppy. He brought home one of the litter Lab pup photos to show my mom. The studio dog photo had a barely 8 week old Lab pup sitting in front of a winter landscape, as the puppy adorned reindeer antlers. This photo was equivalent to the family Christmas portrait. One look at the photo and my mom had to have a lab puppy of her own. The next day, my dad brought home Taylor.

One of my favourite memories of Taylor was how he would wait up for me as I came home late from the bar. All throughout college and a few years later, Taylor would sleep at the top of the stairs, waiting for me to come home from the bar. As I unlocked the door each of those times, and stepped in at some early morning hour, he wouldn’t bark, as he normally would, should anyone enter the house. Taylor would lie on his side, without a moan or a bark; he’d wag his tail as I climbed the steps to my room. The wagging of his tail sounded like the quick whipping of a muted drum. As I went to bed and closed my door, Taylor, now satisfied that I made it home, would proceed back into my parents’ room and climb into their bed for the remainder of the morning.

I have plenty more Taylor stories I could tell. He was a great dog with a wise and compassionate character. He left us as I remember him, wagging his tail a he passed away.