TAX, TAX, TAX, TAX, TAX, TAX....

Hooray!

I'd like to personally inform everyone that we're on our way to additional taxes & Fees! Oh yes, you heard it here folks! Our Canadian politicians believe in taxation and fees over responsible spending.

What? This doesn't sound right? You think I'm going crazy? You think our politicians spend responsibly and don't looks at us taxpayer-constituents as no more than inexhaustible money wells?

This is where you're wrong!

You see, two recent news pieces may have slipped by unnoticed. The first being the request by a City of Toronto Mayoral candidate Which is being backed by some councilor), looking to find a subway line by taxing drivers who use highways that lead into the city.; The second being a CRTCs decision that gives TV broadcasters the right to damned fees from TV distributors for the relaying of TV signals.

Thompson is proposing a $5 fee per ride on the DVP to cover the costs to develop a subway line (article here). Do't get me wrong. I think that enhanced public transportation throughout the GTA and surrounding areas is an important endeavor. My feeling is that we are already paying $3.00 a ticket to ride the TTC, shouldn't some of that money go to route development? With the thousands of riders the TTC gets daily, don't you think a $3 fare would cover the costs of maintenance, employee salaries,, operating costs etc? Unfortunately, TTC money is spent on incompetent consultants, nepotism, mismanagement, and a general sense of irresponsibility. Transit in, out and around Toronto is expensive enough as it is. It's almost cheaper to drive if it weren't for parking costs in the city. Did the City really need the expensive 'Wave" decks in Toronto? I'm sure the cost of construction and design alone would have put a nice dent in the subway expansion costs.


While the TTC continues to squander its rider-fares through mismanagement; the CRTC finds it fit to reward mismanagement through charges for free services. Yup! The free over the air signals that our cable companies are relaying, have been deemed chargeable by the CRTC (Article here). It's like the old saying "Selling Ice to an Eskimo". Well the CRTC sees fit that TV companies like Bell, Rogers, and Cogeco, should now be charged for relaying free over the air signal. The Broadcasters believe the money collected through this new fee should go to supporting local broadcasts. Everyone who pays for cable will have to pay into this local support system. Why should everyone paying for cable in Canada have to pay for late-night local access TV in moose-lick Manitoba? Paying for these services do not benefit me in the least. What's worse, is that Shows broadcast locally, are also broadcast for free. Why don't the local citizens who want to watch their local crap, just tune their TVs to Antenna-mode and watch their Local station?

Look at it my way. Imagine you live on a nice street with 10 houses. 9 of the 10 home-owners keep their lawn maintained, and clear their own driveways when it shows. The 10th home-owner however, doesn't mow his own lawn or shovel his driveway. Instead of doing the work himself, he hires a gardener, and plow service. The 10th home owner then goes to each house on the street, and demands $10/month from every home-owner, so they can assist him in paying for his driveway services. My solution to this is simple. Either move out, or raise the money yourself.

Both situations can be dealt with through responsible money management, and strategy. Unfortunately, we seem to be viewed as inexhaustible wells of money.

The Belarussians and the Bride?

If you follow the NHL, and more specifically, the Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs, you're sure to have heard about the rift between the Kostitsyn Borthers and Mikael Grabovski. Basically, each party is accusing the other of bitch talking in the Belarusian press. Since all three speak Belorussian, and 99.95% of the world doesn't speak it, or read it, and doesn't care to learn; nobody can read the articles, an know why they're all pissy. I however have a theory in light of recent events.

La Presse has recently uncovered that three Montreal Canadiens players, including the Kostitsyn brothers have been associated with a known criminal. This criminal is on tape having worked with the brothers in getting them booze, cars, in to clubs and paid for women. Article Here.

I think it boils down to this. The Kostitsyn brothers were upset at the quality of prostitute that their criminal friend had acquired for them the night previous, so they took it out on Grabovski. I can only assume that the two Kostitsyn brothers are looking for a kind of pro you can only find in a former-soviet colony, only a few hundred kilometers from Chernobyl. In other words, they're looking for loose teeth, and tight beards on their women. Grabovski, who also years for the gruff, chapped hand of a Belarusian lover, outed his Belarusian countrymen in the local papers, citing that they had lowered their standards and pay for the services of the svelte and moustache-free Montreal women of the night.

As you can see, this would cause quite the rift between the two parties.

I'm sure that in time these three Belarusian hockey "sensations" can set their differences aside with the assistance of some Prince Igor vodka, and an evening at a Brampton brothel*. In the meantime, I hope to never again see a "Wanted" poster with Grabovski's face on it, or hear a word about the Belarusian midget-crisis.

Seacrest - out!


*It's a well known fact that Brampton brothels house only the dirtiest and mangiest of all pay-for-pleasure women in Canada.

Trust me, I'm not Crazy!

The Caption Under this photo should read "I'm Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs" Or, "He's Hibbity with the Flip Flop" Yes, Leaf Fans, This Derranged looking Geriatric is the Interim GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Who'd have thunk that 4.5 years of me complaining about JFJ would yield this. Dr. Demento is the GM for the remainder of the season. I suspect that upon season completion, the Leafs will sign Scotty Bowman as their Director of Hockey operations with a Colangelo-esque deal, while maintaining Fletch as a consultant for an additional year or so.

Hopefully, Fletch here produces some action instead of sitting on his hands and watching the trade deadline pass us by as his predecessor did. Don't get me wrong. JFJ tried to wheel some deals but instead he landed Yawning Yannick Perrault, The Fruitless Ronny Francis and the Lowly Brian Leetch at the trade deadlines at the cost of draft picks. Each of his acquisitions did nothing to add to the current talent pool. Fletcher is known for his high risk trades and big player moves. I'd like Fletch to work some magic and trade Blake & Raycroft for a gallon of Thoroughbred stud juice. Even that might be a long shot. In all honesty, Fletcher is here to try and trade out some role players, veterans and some of their 3rd line players for useable draft picks or up and comers. Aside from that, he's just going to tread water. I can only assume that the Leafs will have a new GM in place well before the draft to ensure that the team pick based on direction and need.

If I were Cliff Fletcher, I'd pull the tank Job a-la Senators/Capitals/Penguins & try and secure myself a 25% chance in the Stamkos lottery. Look where the Sens are. They tanked for 6 straight years (Ultimately leading to a lottery draft system), and now they have 6 Top 5 drafts on their roster, and are competing for 2nd place overall. The Penguins have two of the bet players in the league, and the Caps are putting together a pretty impressive offense around Ovechkin.

On that Note, Enjoy this and many more blog entries.

Feel free to add your own captions to Fletcher's deranged googlie eyes photo.

Leafs New Jersey - Players Same old hair

Well, Attached is a photo of the new Leafs Jersey.

Thanks to Reebok for buying out the League and creating the "Cooperalls" of hockey Jersey's.

These Jersey's look horrid. They lack the band around the bottom of the jersey. So, why is the band missing? Well The RBK Edge Jerseys are intended to be tucked in.
I'm sure this will look awesome. The only person I know who tucks in his sweaters is Steve Erkle.

They Commish of the NHL, Bettman, said the Tight-fit Jerseys will appeal to a broader audience. Translation: Chicks dig it. His idea is that women will swoon over the players in their jerseys as they do with soccer players and basketball players. Hey Bettman, did you forget the players wear pads??

Hooray for Bettman and his brilliant ideas.

PS> Thanks for combing your hair TUCKS. Did you forget you'd be on TV today? It looks like Arnold and Danny DeVito from Twins in this photo.

Top 10 reasons why you shouldn’t cheer for the Ottawa Senators this Playoff Run

10) You’re condoning failure
The Senators toiled in the bottom of the division for 10 years of their 16 year existence. Not only do they hold the record for the worst season ever by an NHL franchise, the NHL initiated a draft lottery because they monopolized the first pick by tanking year after year in order to garner the best draft selection.

9) The team has a history of Whiney players
Alexandre Daigle, Alexi Yashin, and Jason Spezza have all demanded trades from losing teams to be traded to better teams. I don’t know but really, isn’t a contract a two way agreement??? Shouldn’t you understand you’re signing with a crappy team when you sign the initial contract. Ever hear of sucking it up and taking it like a man?? This brings me to my next point

8) The team had to get support from the Canadian government to escape bankruptcy
I would have much rather given funding to the Nords or the Jets over the Sens. Why do you ask?? Well, when the Sens filed for bankruptcy protection nobody cared. They had the poorest attendance in the league and their fan base was non-existant. The Nords had a great fan base, as did the jets, but their market was too small. Much like Ottawa.

7) Sens fans are primarily composed of ex-leaf fans who jumped the bandwagon. It’s true. Once a Leaf fan, now a Sens fan is quite a common switch. To me it would be like going from straight to gay. NOTE: There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I know plenty of gay people who aren’t Sens fans

6) Ontario Premier Daulton McGuinty likes them
This guy looks like he could confuse a hockey puck with a basketball. What’s he doing backing a hockey team. I’m sure if you asked him who the Senator’s captain was he’d reply “Mayor McCheese”

5) They have a tough time selling out playoff seat
Are you kidding me?? A team makes the playoffs and their seats aren’t gobbled up by fans and scalpers? What more does this team need to do to get the home crowd to buy tickets?? Maybe they should give free autographed posters of Daulton McGuinty with every ticket purchase. With a team comprised of first round picks and government funding, how can you go wrong?? It’s not like you’re paying the high prices leaf fans have to pay to watch the home team. Come one fans!! Have some pride.

4) They’re proven Chokers
Yeah, I know they’ve made it pretty far this year, but really. Based on history, if you were to place money on the Sens right now, you’d have better odds betting on Webster if he were to fight Mike Tyson. Yeah, I called him Webster and not Emanuel Lewis.

3) Their logo isn’t fitting of today’s Senators
Yeah, we don’t even call them senators. Why does the team logo depict someone who’s going in to fight. Please tell me the last time a Politicial suited up and joined the army in a fight. They’d be better off having a photo of Steven Harper eating a cheeseburger while winking and making a gun symbol with his hand. Their logo is as far from a senator as the Sabres logo is from a Bison. On a side note, the Sabres new logo looks like a cross between a retarded sperm and an upside down Nike symbol with eyes.

2) The Post-game workout interview
Hey, I know you’re fit. I know you exercise 10 hours a day. Take a rest. It’s after the game. The post-game workout interview is about as inappropriate as jerking off after getting a blow job. HEY, it’s over. Time to relax.

1) You should already be a Leaf fan
Yeah, I had to throw this one in there. Ok, but really, if there ever was a team this year that got away with more cheap shots I’d be surprised. Let me explain. Emery’s Slash to the face of Laperier, Neil’s hit to Drudy… The list continues. For some reason Colin Campbell has a hard on for letting this team off the hook. I don’t know why. Maybe Muckler is good with the pocket pool.

John Ferguson Jr. Must be released for the Leafs to have a chance at success.

I seriously doubt that MLSE brass would actually read my blog, but in the rare hope that they do, please take my advice, and fire JFJ. Before you go ahead and dismiss my request, please read on and you’ll soon discover that although the current GM has made some wise decisions, they are far overshadowed by his gaffs and misses. Nevertheless, I do believe that maybe one day, JFJ will be a great GM, the Leafs fan base cannot sit idly by and support a developing GM.

It has been close to four years since JFJ was hired as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs on Aug 29, 2003. During that 4 years, the Leafs have fallen from a playoff favourite to a post-season phantom. JFJ’s tenure and timing could not have been set-up any better. With the aid of a lockout, JFJ had the opportunity to mould the roster into anything he wanted. The Lock-out afforded him the time to wait out any heavy contracts signed by the previous GM as well as pick from a two year pool of unrestricted free agents. His actions and decisions did little to improve the organization. A list of noteworthy signings and gaffs would include the overpayment and signing of Pavel Kubina, Bryan McCabe, Jason Allison, Jeff O’Neil and Aki Berg. Although I do believe that both McCabe and Kubina are assets to the team, the price paid and sacrifice of money in a salary capped league restricts the potential signing of other players. Signing Tough guy Tie Domi to a 2.5 Million contract was quite the head scratcher. With the likes of Ben Ondrus and Wade Belak to take the reins as the team’s heavy fists, what would be the use in re-signing Tie Domi, only to have him retire the following year?

One of the most frustrating inactions of JFJ is his inability to make a marquee decision or trade. Two trade deadlines have come and gone during his tenure and he has failed to make a significant move at either season-changing point. His ability to straddle the fence and not make a season altering decision is only overshadowed by his signing of former Toronto Maple Leafs (al la Luke Richardson, Drake Berehowsky, Travis Green, Yannic Perrault). Two straight trade deadlines and twice, JFJ was faced with the decision to improve the team and make a legitimate run at the playoffs, or to give up on the season and deal out the that summer’s free agents for draft picks or future talent. The repercussions of throwing in a season at the February trade-deadline would normally be a possible dip in ticket sales or season ticket holders however, the ACC is sold out every game, and season tickets will still sell no matter how poorly the team does, as proven by the Harold Ballard years.

MLSE, please take my advice, pick up a “Byan Colangelo” for the Toronto Maple leafs. As you did with the Raptors, drop the Rookie GM, and pick someone with experience who can turn the team around.

Please! Bring us a team that will not only beat the Senators in the Playoffs, but also in the Regular Season.

Until then.... Go Sens Go??