Saturday, April 25, 2009

Puff the Magic Dragon, lived by the sea... and Mornings, lunch and eveoutside my office


The sun is shining, breeze is warm, an the air smells like George Burns' Ass.

This is what I come across when I exit/enter my office building on a daily basis. I thought I'd write about this after I had some time to think about the issue, and cool down.

For those of you who are not from Ontario, you may not know that we have some pretty strict smoking laws in place to protect non-smokers from inadvertently inhaling second-hand smoke toxins while in public areas. In brief, the law forbids smoking within 9 meters of building entrances, and must not have an overhead shelter. All entrances must display a non-smoking sign.

In an effort to encourage smoking within designated smoking areas, the building management at my office, has created a patio-style smoking area with seating and wind shelter. Unfortunately, this area is not used as frequently as it should be.

Instead of using this designated smokers-section, you find that smokers more frequently use the sheltered entrance area as their preferred smoking area. The wonderful thing about this sheltered entrance area is that it holds smoke very well, leaving us smoke-sensitive workers to share in the splendour of second hand smoke. I frequently find myself fighting off headaches due to second-hand smoke. I have an allergy to smoke, and asthma that are both aggravated each time I enter and exit the office.

The office management has taken steps to try and deter smokers who choose to smoke in law-prohibited areas. The office has sent out emails, and has asked office patrons to move to the designated smoking area Unfortunately, the smokers ignore these requests and continue to infringe on the health and happiness of their fellow coworkers by smoking within 5 feet of the entrance.

I have asked coworkers in the past to head to the smoking section instead of smoking within the confined of the pre-designated smoke-free areas. Although my coworkers oblige when I ask, they retun to the designated smoke-free areas for their next nic-fix.

Normally, my reaction to resolving issue that affect me would be to request action from the parties involved (which I've already done), and if results are not achieved, I'd escalate the issue to the local authority, and finally to the legal authority. Unfortunately, I don't feel the local authority nor the legal authorities will action my request.

In the past, I've made complaints to the local smoking authorities for smoking infractions that adversely affected me. To my dismay, the local authorities felt that although the rules were being broken, they weren't being broken "that bad" so the were left with a warning.

I would compare smoking in non-smoking areas to bringing peanut butter to an elementary school. The happiness of the individual is trumped by the health of another. The problem is that people really aren't taking the negative affects of smoking seriously. There are coalitions to save smoking and right to choose parties looking to keep smoking in public areas. You don't see coalitions for peanuts in schools, or free the peanut campaigns. The affects are the same, but not as immediate. Why are we so blind to ignore these facts?

My hope now is that someone reads this and understands that these smoking laws are not meant to inconvenience smokers for the sake of inconvenience, but rather are meant to protect the smoke sensitive individuals like myself.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Jose Calderon part of the nba History, and nobody knows.


When you think of amazing, Jose Calderon of the Toronto Raptors doesn't come to mind. Talented...maybe? But one thinkg to note about the Spanish Rap, is that he is among a league of elite players.

I was listening to Sports radio and was amazed to hear that Calderon has quietly become a member of the 50-40-90 club. Last year, he was in contention but didn't meet the minimum requirement for shots.

What is this 50-40-90 club, and how can I be a member?

The requirements are simple. Throw 50% accuracy or better from the field, 40% or better from 3pt range, and 90% or better from the line. There is a minimum requirement of shots in each, but I couldn't find the number.

The other 5 members of this elite club are Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Steve Nash, and Dirk Nowitzki.

I'm surprised that this hasn't been made very public or celebrated. Neither the Raptors nor NBA have announced the feat.

The only place I read about it was in a Spanish newspaper. Link Here: http://www.laopinioncoruna.es/secciones/noticia.jsp?pRef=2009041500_12_277529__Deportes-Calderon-tirador-infalible

In addition to all this, Calderon holds the record for most accurate free throws all-time with 98.1% making 151 of 154.

Pretty Amazing that a team that can't fill all the seats around the court isn't promoting its players the way it should be. Clearly, another blunder by MLSE.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Bathroom Hijacked by a Toilet Jockey


Maybe it's me, but I can't stand having Bathroom attendants in Club/Bars. The other night, I went to Failte Irish pub in Mississauga, only to find that as I relieved myself in their facilities, I was being watched by a panhandler with soap.

Yes, I was the victim of a bathroom hijacking.

I don't feel the need to pay someone for services I can render on my own. I do not need someone dispensing soap or a towel for me, when I'm perfectly capable of doing so on my own. Failte Irish pub featured a toilet jockey who not only blocked the entrance of a tiny bathroom, but also removed the paper towel from the paper towel dispenser, leaving those of us who like to wash and DRY our own hands, paying for these normally free services. What'smore, the Bathroom at Failte was pretty filthy. The Bathroom attendant paid no attention to the scraps of paper discarded on the floor, nor was he concerned with the urine pool that led from the stall to the frond door. As small as the Failte Men's bathrrom is, the addition of a working body that does nothing but panhandle and take up space is absolutely foolish.

There seems to be no real need for bathroom attendants in Bars & Clubs, except to find other ways of gouging patrons. I don't feel the need to pray on their selection of designer imposter colognes, nor do I need to use deodorant that a stranger has applied before me. I feel that if I'm going to have someone watch me use the urinal, he should be paying me for his perverted pleasure.

I know I've spoken about this topic before, but really, something has to be said for these "Services" and the right of refusal in bars and clubs.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Shamwow - Now even better at picking up hooker blood!

So, let's say you're out on Tijuana with some guys, and after consuming copious amounts of booze, you find yourself with a lady of the evening. Now, let's say this ball-jockey you picked up starts to get a bit ornery and had to go a bit Charles Bronson on her to knock he down a peg or two. On the surface, a good old fashion Mexican hooker-beating may sound like a good idea, but what to do with all the hooker blood that comes as a result of this Bronsonesque peg knocking??? Well, keep up with me here camera-man, because I can only do this once!

Oh yeah, You heard it here first! Shamwow, now available in Mexico. Check out the video below to see the ad in all it's hilarity.



In other Shamwow News.... Have you herd tat Vince, the Shamwow guy has been charg with assaulting a hooker? Oh yeah. As it turns out, the hooker bit Vince's tongue, so he laid down a hooker beating of his own.

Details Here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Shamwow Vince in an even finer form http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0408091sham1.html

Vince's Handy Work: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html