Suckiest computer in the office

Suckiest computer in the office

I know that in some third world countries, people don’t even have a computer to surf porn in their own houses, while I get the luxury of a portable porno downloading device. Yes, I have a work Laptop. But this isn’t your ordinary work laptop. This thing was built for business in the trenches. The latches and buttons are all made of metal. I’m sure that if it ever came down to me needing to use my laptop to shield my body, I could probably use it to stop high velocity sniper type bullets. Its bulk and rigidity is only surpassed by its weight. At just around 6 Lbs, this thing is a beast among laptops. The only downside of this laptop is that it moves slower than the fat kid in the “photos with Santa” line-up. I’m not going to get into technical details, but when it takes 2 minutes to switch between email messages, there’s something wrong. I am supposed to be getting a new computer since mine is the worst in the company. I have been told that the office no longer uses computers slower than mine, and mine is the only one of its kind. So here I am, with the most junktastic laptop the office has to offer.

I really needed to vent. It just took me 20 minutes to shut down and reboot my computer.

As a disclaimer, I’d like it noted that I in fact do not download porn on my computer. I just thought it would be a super cool introduction.